Monday, April 13, 2009

The first taste of exploration

On the first read this may seem a simple enough poem with a few mistimed mistakes that take a way from its rhythm. Does it have more to say though? IS everything here thought out and calculated, or is it contrived? What title would you give to this poem if it were yours?

In these examples I may not always give you the name of the poem, lest it rush a journey that should be savoured.


Through life’s rich path I wearily tread
Death and pain, elements I never dread
The road is often rough, seemingly impassable
But I carry on, knowing otherwise to be farcical

The many dangers I have had to face
Leave me without any outward disgrace
But the one fear that haunts my soul
The one enemy that can destroy my goal

You have the power to save me here
Always in reach, remaining forever near
Untouchable maybe, touching me still
Enjoyment, pleasure, more than the thrill

Keeping me sane, not overstepping my bounds
I hear the danger; it’s horrible, vicious hounds
They track me now with insatiable desire
Trying to defeat me, to put out my fire

You are my saviour, my princess in the tower
Giving me strength, allowing me all your power
Without you they win, the hounds will attack
Never again to be seen, never to be back

My one great enemy, over my shoulder does peer
Aware of my panic, undoubtedly smelling my fear
Knowing the time approaches swiftly and anon
Help me fight my adversary, let it eternally be gone

Difficult to conceive, amorphous yet undeniable too
Lurking from my past, close then sad and true
Never again do I wish to come face to face
With this onerous devil, to be lost without trace

The beast frightens me more than death itself
To be left forever a dark void on the shelf
Facing the devil I cannot hope to defeat
Forgive me my weakness as I fall at your feet

I have no right to ask of you these things
Yet to my heart your true alliance brings
All that I crave, to me a comfort so rare
To look back now, as into the mirror I stare.


© Bernard J Rossi

4 comments:

  1. Another outstanding way with words, enjoyable, felt as one with the story.

    Best Regards,
    A.J.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks A.J.

    I am hoping to post some interesting work over the next week and maybe start a few interactive poetry projects.

    BJR

    ReplyDelete
  3. My opinion on rhythm and timing in poetry is...who cares?! If you, the poet, likes it, feels comfortable reading it, and the general impression and meaning of the poem is apparant, i don't think rhythm is an issue.

    A great poem BJR. I don't think you need a title. Some poems just speak for themselves.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Lou, I appreciate the thoughts on this poem but even more I like the comments on poetry in general. I think your view is the one held by most in the modern era which is why we see a small decline in 'traditional' poetry. As you say, if its good, who cares.

    Thanks for visiting

    BJR

    ReplyDelete